LGBT

So, it would appear that the forward thinking Episcopalians are at it again!

“Earlier in the week, the church voted to open the door to ordaining openly gay bishops. And on Thursday the bishops voted to start the process of developing rites for blessing same-sex marriages, and to give the green light to bishops who are already doing so.”

The New York Times –
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/17/us/17bishop.html?pagewanted=1&hp
Laura Goodstein

Bravo.

I think we can declare the year 2009 as a tremendous victory, in general for LGBT folks.
I do believe that Jesus kissed men? And, what kind of “all loving God” would hate anybody? It is totally educated to believe that this extreme dichotomy of heaven and hell, with regard to anyone not believing ending up in the latter, is just about as realistic as the pit of Hades, flying unicorns, or magical Egyptian priests. While I digress a bit here, I believe I am adding to the conversation from the Times.

For me, it is a bit sad that modern Christianity is what gets all the press. In a word, I’m sick of it. For the most part, any previous world religion is ignored, except for being taught in grade school. And Wicca (the planet’s oldest religion)? “Oh, that’s evil. People get killed and sacrificed to the devil. ” What a laugh! But, that is the stigma.

Now, I am not sure if the original writer of the bible would arguable be the greatest writer in history, or is the church the best marketer in history? Interesting when looked at from that, more financial perspective, isn’t it?

Also, Christianity is one of the very few (if not the only) religion in history that has persecuted gay folks so openly.

So, once again Episcopalians – bravo.

Am I arguing that elements of the bible don’t teach us basic values? Absolutely not. I think it’s more the fact that certain European kings throughout history have twisted it toward their own hell bent Inquisitional practices that I have a hard time with. Alas, during that period, the Bible was no better off than Mein Kampf.

I think, in any religion, we need more positive people like Bishop Gene Robinson. He brings up long standing relationships within the church that are timeless bonds. That alone is something to be admired, weather religious or not! As well, he brings up that this (in reference to gay marriage), is where the country is heading. As someone who tends to see all sides of the coin (if you will), I whole heartedly agree.

I don’t think there has ever been a period in history when so many more doors are opening for the LGBT crowd. And, I am very proud to say that Obama is, in a way, spear heading it. Even though we are waiting for him to follow through with certain policies where LGBT is concerned, just the fact that he is black, and president, has put huge, heaping dose of “alternate thinking” in the every day faces of America, and the entire world. So, in a way, the above Times article doesn’t surprise me.

Some say the “progressive movement” is not moving fast enough. Others are no doubt saying that it is moving too fast. I back up Mr. Obama with his statement that he is turning a huge cruise ship in a different direction, and it will take time. Things will happen as they happen. The point is, we all have to believe that this extremely educated man is doing his best with what he has to work with. It’s sort of the “frustrated genius” syndrome.

So, don’t worry yourselves too much that you aren’t getting this, or that, in whatever area. Work the best with what you have, and by the grace of God, be grateful!

“We are all connected in the great circle of life.”
Mufasa – Disney’s The Lion King

I have found that these words not only connect to all things, but is also the answer to all things. Without balance, there can be no harmony. When there is disconnect, there is discord.

In marriage, the same grand rules and principles apply. I have been with both men and women in my time, and the underlying principles are the same.

At first, we need to look within ourselves. If we are not comfortable, both with, and do not love ourselves first, than the expectation of loving someone else should not be considered.

As well, common human decency, and the rules of getting along, to attract others to the liking of your personality very much apply.

As with anything in life, it is often about mindset. If one does not wish for anything long term, or substantial, and attempts to fake at doing so, than the result will definitely not be long term.
Seeing much of yourself in the other person is an incredibly difficult thing to find. When you do find it, don’t let it go. That being said, the more experiences you have had out of life, the more you can share with someone else, which, in proportion, would hopefully widen your pool of people to date. There! That’s another point for age!

See, it all comes back to balance.

Now, in a relationship, are there sacrifices? It wouldn’t be an equal footing if there weren’t. The key here is to create your bond in such a way that the sacrifices don’t become so sacrificial. Rather, turn
them into strengths to hold the relationship together, and when your brain comes out the other side, it will be far happier. Trust me!

So, today, my blog is brief. Again, it is an adjunct to other blogs up here similar to this, and is certainly a progressive mark in my own lifeline of a relationship. The concepts are simple. Unfortunately,
not everyone sees it as such, and makes all of this so much more complicated than it really needs to be. DON’T DO THAT!! The classic K.I.S.S. probably applies more to relationships than anything else
within our divine, human existence.

Go forth. Date. Love. Be Merry.

For those of you who don’t know, Ralph is my husband. If you look at the “About” page, he is the black one. Folks, married life is a blast, and my best to all who are!

Living with him, for me anyway, is like living with your best friend, only it is daily, and deeper. Oh, sure, we argue. We disagree. But, not to the point that it affects our love.

A typical outing for us is a nice dinner around town. We love places like Chic (great chicken – organic), Wolfgang Puck Cafe’, and once in a while, somewhere like SLS, or the Geisha House. We have both been food critics in our lives, so, food is definitely something we share. It’s often a large topic of conversation with us, and we take great thrill in sharing stories about different places we go to.

He is a big sissy! There is an adorable, little mouse running around our apartment. My attitude is to befriend it, feed it, and keep it alive. If it was up to him (and not the mousee mouse), it would have died a horrible, and unfair death long ago.

Our dog, Prince – a miniature Italian greyhoud (also commonly referred to as “our son”), is so often the center of our lives. Whenever we go to Petco, the cute little mice are in cages at the entrance. He sneers. I say I love them. We laugh. It’s cute.

From time to time on here, I will include little snippets of our crazy gay life! The good, the bad, and the almost ugly! Enjoy!

*”SAN FRANCISCO – The California Supreme Court has upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage, but it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay wed.”

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but does the above paragraph even make sense? O.K., so, it’s great that we can all stay wed. However, what about the guilt that has been placed on our shoulders, because the heads of a few people in power are stuck in the ancient past?

By that same notion, does that mean that only a few black people can stay free, and the rest have to go back to being slaves? Maybe only a few Jews can live, and the rest all have to die by gas poisoning.

State of California, you have turned gay marriage into a complete farce.

It can be seen how something like the “war on drugs” is a tremendous money maker for the United States government. But, this doesn’t even make sense in that category.

LGBT people are a large part of the economy, and quite often spend lots, and lots of money, when you put us in perspective via an equational per cap.

Forgetting how our government believes, it hasn’t occurred to them that the clothes they wear, the chairs they sit in, the cars that are designed that they drive around in, the computers they use, etc.. more than likely have the thoughts and ideas contained therein of many, many LGBT people!

We are all living under the same sky, eating the same food, spending money the same way, and living very similar lives. Marriage is marriage. The same dating, going out, ideas, hard work, struggles, and love all play a part.

The constitution was created to be amended. The original writers of it knew that such a document had to be changed as the people changed with it. We all get and understand that such a decision was made under a free voting system. But, what were the reasonings for this vote? How valid are such mindsets under a man like Barack Obama? In the interest of moving society forward, as any government’s priority should be number one, how is voting in such a way contributing?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m extremely proud and grateful to be both gay and married. I live to see the day that everyone who so chooses can have similar joy. See! Within myself, I’m not spreading any kind of “whatever the heck is inside the minds of California government”.

So, they are wrong.

*”Gay rights advocates have scheduled marches throughout California and in several other states for Tuesday evening. Organizers say the gatherings will be celebratory if the court rules in their favor and angry if Proposition 8 is upheld.”

It’s really too bad. I know I would’ve at least wanted some champagne.

*Yahoo! News
May 26, 2009
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090526/ap_on_re_us/us_gay_marriage_6

Definitely hot topics for any gay man.

What’s your favorite? Can you tell the difference between an Arabian Mocha Sanani and a French Roast? Bejoulais, or Merlot? Spagos or Eat.?

In this blog entry, I will highlight one very, very cool, cutting edge, and “in” to the over extreme – SLS by Starwood.

The atmosphere is clearly upscale industry. I, myself, am in a hipster t-shirt, sporting Calvin Klein black slacks, and comfortable shoes of the same name. All around me is upper class action! Every furn ishing is original to the piece. I absolutely love it when a locale can take you away from an entire around the world historic viewpoint, and be it’s own thing. Clearly, SLS does this. It’s decor is from every place, every time, and totally works together in an original manner.

The couch I am sitting in is, in form, from the neo classical era. However, it has a really awesome photographic print of an Asian hipster scene adorning the cushions. The clear chair on the other side of my table is ala Jetson’s clear plastic. Wonderful! See. Be seen. I just realized that my booth is surrounded by mirrors. Is this a fun house? A Hollywood fun house, for sure! If you’re lucky to spot the psychic, you can even get your cards read. Man, I wish more places were like this!

In their restaurant, I am currently dining at “The Bazaar” by Jose’ Andre’s. The cuisine is a tapas style – small, little bites, and is from Spain. Take traditional tapas, add a humongous amount of creativity, and you hav e SLS. I have been here several times, and am constantly surprised.

Tonight, it’s all about CAVIAR!!!

I have decided on the Avgotaraho, from Greece. It’s a Greek cured and pressed mullet caviar. Very different. Very interesting. As well, I am doing a presentation of American caviar with the traditional steamed blinis, creme fraiche, and lemon air?

My drink – a very tasteful selection of Sake. Tokubetsu Junmai Old Mountain (Housui Yamahai). Super dry, with premium yeast mash sourness, giving way to pleasant and mild sweetness is the description from the menu. I couldn’t agree more! Wonderfully “tannic”, and pairs perfect with the eggs. And, if I may, a detail that is impeccable… They served it in a Riedel glass. Truly masterful. So often the “nose” of sake is missed, because of what it’s served in. Here, since it is served like a Chardonnay, you get it. It’s gorgeous. $14.

The American just arrived. It is served on a small stone square. The bun, warm. The lemon air – fine lemon bubbles. Cute! This presentation was extremely well thought out. For the price, admittedly, you wouldn’t get a caviar that rivals some that are more fine. However, the way the bun pops in the mouth, and how the lemon air adds an extra zing makes it all worth it! $10.

So, the Avgotaraho isn’t what I expected. It is very small, thinly sliced pieces of egg (NOT the traditional caviar kind), with little bits of wax on top, and what look like some kind of tiny herb. Lets try….

It does have these delightful bits of lemon on top. This dish is incredibly complex. Let’s have some fishy fish, wax, and scale it way, way up. If you enjoy sardines, and anchovies, than you will love this, because it has a similar strong taste. I would say that your palette should be nicely complex, and open minded. The finish with the sake should be wildly applauded. Again, a clear surprised from Mr. Andres. $15.

Admittedly, it was trippy to look up while drinking, and see myself in the mirror above!

This is only the tip of the culinary food chain in terms of description. So, come. Be entranced! Bring a date! Find out your future, with alcohol coursing through your system! And spend hours!

Gay marriage. Such a hot topic today! I must admit, I never thought it would have happened to me. We have a son. An adorable miniature Italian Greyhound named Prince. Trust, the names fits well.

My other half, Ralph is 43, and I am 31. He’s black, while I’m white. He a Jesus centered upbringing, while mine was a healthy mix of Jewish and Wiccan. Does he have a body of Herculean proportions? Maybe not to others, but to me, he’s perfect. And me? Well, I’m a thin stick!! So what? We love each other.

So often, in the gay world, age differences can mean the world. But, luckily for us, we both saw past that upon our eyes meeting for the first time.

Where did we meet? Would you believe, myspace? Traditionally, the gay personals area of myspace is nothing more than a hook up board. And, for only one nighters at that. From someone who has been to at least five different dating sites, I honestly did get the most from myspace!

I wasn’t really expecting us to get past the first date. It was quite traditional. We went out to a movie at the ArcLight Cinemas, and had a great time. For food, we enjoy the same kinds, so going out to eat at restaurants is often not much of a battle.

I have to say, if there was any aspect, or angle that I attribute the longevity of our marriage to, it is the fact that we both come from similar background. His family lives in Palos Verdes Estates, and mine in Beverly Hills. It is true when you hear that “rich folks hang out with rich folks”. I can imagine that the same is true with all other groups. It is an innate, and inherent understanding that we both have, and grew up with.

If I can illuminate further, at one point, while discussing past men that he has dated, and questioning why our marriage is successful, Ralph mentioned, “You know how to act around my mom and dad – around rich people.” Then, it hit me. We were going to be together forever. I know, strange, eh?

His parents happened to have owned a Budweiser distributorship, serving an incredibly large sector of Southern California. My grandparents owned Beverly Hills Sound Company who rented walkie talkies and sound equipment to the entertainment industry. For all of you Lucy fans out there, David Wolpa was my grandfather’s name, and he worked with the cutting edge Glen Glenn sound on the show, as well as many other t.v. shows, and motion pictures at the time.

A large part of our relationship is our dog. We spoil him, and treat him like a child. Wherever we go, if possible, we bring him. Whenever we are out, and purchasing something for us, it is often that we buy for him first. He licks our plates clean at the dinner table, even after we have fed him his regular dog food! Princee-pooh!

I find that our work lives are even interesting, as we are both always learning something from each other’s professions. He works at the Gay and Lesbian Center in Hollywood, and while servicing the entertainment industry with small projects, I am quite happy working with Staples in their Copy and Print Center. Oh, and I must say, for those whom may think that a “copy monkey” isn’t creative work, clearly, you have never worked in a copy and print center! It is enormously creative, and each job and client is different. This is how I view it. The full service copy and print center is in it’s own little world, doing jobs for clients. Then, there is the self serve world, which is it’s own ball of wax, but works with the full service world. Then, there is the rest of the store at large that works with the other two departments. Then, there is the team that you work with to smoothly tie it all together.

What makes it incredibly creative are the challenges. When a customer asks you to do something that is normally outside of the “normal boundaries” of the center, it’s how you solve that customer’s solution that makes you valuable.

In terms of Ralph’s work – to say the least, don’t know how he does what he does on a daily basis. He is a true angel. He works in a beautiful homeless shelter for primarily LGBT youth, ages 18-24. Ralph says that it is rewarding work and very challenging. As well, he is very passionate about his work.

Do our families know each other? Not yet. No marriage is perfect. In this case, it is about protecting our marriage. We are hoping for a meeting of the two forces as soon as possible. And, you know what? That’s o.k. Ultimately, you have to do what you have to do to keep the love between you strong. Is it selfish? Well, that depends upon how you look at that. On the surface, perhaps. When you look deeper into it, if, only once in your life, you find that perfect other, than maybe it isn’t so much so.

Heavens, what do we do for fun??!!!! Lots of things! We enjoy Disneyland, Santa Monica beach and pier, Pasadena, Palm Springs, many places. Being in California definitely provides it’s fair share of eclectic activities. All in all, the ideal city for us to live, and my personal favorite would have to be Pasadena. I call it the “Paris of Los Angeles”. It’s rich history, culture, and good natured people are grossly under estimated.

We can enjoy a lavish dinner at the Ritz Carlton hotel castle just as easily as a seven dollar lunch at King Taco. For fast food mexican in the area, you can’t beat it. We often go for various reasons. One thing’s for sure. The Gamble House in town will keep anyone coming back! This is an Art’s and Crafts masterpiece, and was created around the turn of the century by Greene and Greene. Today, it is owned by the University of Southern California, and architecture students live and study there. In addition, they do give public tours.

Pasadena is also home to the world famous Art Center College of Design. They are known for their automotive design, but excel in all of their areas. For myself, I have taken classes both at Art Center, and Pasadena City college in graphic design. Both have propelled my career forward.

When Ralph and I are browsing around the streets, we enchant ourselves by walking in and out of different alleyways, seeing interesting little shops, arguing over what is expensive, and what isn’t, and by the end of the day, we are drinking tea, and driving home. The rich diversity of places we go out to, and activities we enjoy can not only be defining, but certainly enhance our already strong marriage.

I could fill ten books with this information. This is but a taste. A first go at this exciting blog! Thank you, and we hope to see you back soon!